I left the house excited for what my Lenten offering might be today, but totally clueless which way to go or what to look for. After yesterday I knew that thinking I had any control over what it would be was useless... I might go through all the motions just to find out that God had something else in mind.
We didn't get far down the road. Heather was kind of anxious to get to the city to start on a photo birthday project for a friend and we both had that foremost on our mind as we were driving down Hwy 101 to get to Lincoln City. Traffic was moving a bit slowly, common near the construction about 5 miles from our house and so from fairly far off I noticed the silhouette of a human on the side of the road.
As we got closer I could see he wasn't just waiting to cross the road or check out the view... he had a big red wagon next to him filled with odds and ends... the supplies of survival I later realized... and at his side was an enormous white Alaskan husky dog. As we got closer and closer I could see more and more of him. He was heavily dressed for how nice the day was and had a full face of white hair. How much remained on his slightly older head was a mystery under a worn old knit beanie cap. It looked similar to the one fisherman where in the pictures I have seen. On his hands were gloves of a similar material and almost the same color that left the tips of his fingers bare to grip a cardboard sign that read only this: "NEED FOOD".
Something about his request struck me. He stood between two cities, far from any grocery stores or restaurants... nowhere for passer-byes to just run in and grab something if they felt so inclined. His request was so unimposing... so timid. And as we got close enough to see the expression on his face his demeanor matched his request. A quiet desperation. A subtle sadness. Feed him! I knew God was telling me to give this man food. "Thats it, sis!" I said. "I know you are excited to start the photo project, but can we take some time to go into town and grab some groceries to bring them back to that man."
She looked up to see who I was talking about. She saw him. Then she looked over at me to realize how incredibly serious I was and smiled, "Of course."
It took another 5 or 6 minutes to get to town and while we drove I thought about the man and his sign. NEED FOOD. I wondered how many people are brave enough to stand on the side of the road and broadcast their need, and I wondered if that subtle request was an inner cry for something more. A desire for a food that would fill him up forever and never leave his soul and spirit to hunger again. We are all in need of that kind of food. The Bread of Life that we receive directly from Christ. How many people hunger for that?! What if they bore signs across their chest: NEED FOOD? Jesus, what are the signs of a person's need for You? Show me.
And then I thought of myself... there was a time in my life when I stood still on the side of the road to the Kingdom and someone caught the sight of the sign across my heart: NEED FOOD. And Jesus showed me who He was. He fed me through the love and compassion of those He had sent and in our quiet times together, sweet and healing. He feeds me still!
We went to the first store that came up and got a few things... water, granola bars, dog food, a Kit-Kat... why not? I was rushing, ready to get back. The drive back was less congested and we seemed to get to the section of 101 where he was standing extremely quick. Heather saw my face was a little furrowed and I confessed I was a little nervous. "I have no idea what to say or do. I just know that I'm going to get out of the car and hand him this stuff. Not just pass it through the window. I want to talk with him."
She grabbed my hand and prayed. We got to the last bend and I inhaled. I'm all yours God! I will do whatever you ask! I strained to see his form in the distance. Nothing. We got right to the spot and still no man... no dog... no wagon. "We've only been gone like 15 minutes. There is nowhere to go around here! He has to be nearby." We searched all over. We drove up the road and turned around in a small business cove. No man. We looked up every little road, path or turn around we could see nearby. No man. I looked in the bushes even by the spot where he had been standing. No man. He was gone.
I started to cry. I was broken hearted at missing the chance to do what I was so sure God wanted me to do. But I felt Him say I will feed him. Just pray. So I grabbed Heather's hand and prayed for the vanishing man. I prayed for his stomach, that it would be fed and provided for... and I prayed for his heart, that it would be filled with a food that endures forever and never stops miraculously appearing in the desert... the food of LIFE- Jesus.
God told me my offering was done for the day. I had felt Him... felt Him moving, felt Him in this, even amidst the disappointment... DEEPLY felt Him.
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