Dee

Today, has been weary and long and full of the magnamity of my own inadequacies and helplessness... not because I have done any great wrong, but because I walk in things I do not understand, that I cannot explain or stay strong through. My heart is laden with things heavier than I have ever carried, my mind is lost in the selection or the ability to find the right things to say... what do I feel? What do I say? How do I pray?

On my knees or with my head in my hands I have sat in the desire to know so much more about God, about His Word, about how to pray, about how to stay in God's strength... this is how I have spent so much of today. I have prayed for healing and comfort and peace and understanding. I have poured out everything I know... everything I know how to give...

I wish I could fly on wings with blinding speed to Alabama and just wrap my arms around brother Jaron and Papa Manyama. But I can't. And not knowing why is part of the struggle. Not knowing what exactly they need or want is part of my confusion. So I will keep reading and praying. I will keep asking and hoping.

The last scripture on my mind tonight, we heard in Church yesterday... "And the victory that conquers the world is faith." (1John 5)

So I will go off to bed with all the faith in God I can muster... His ways are not my ways, I must remember. As far as Heaven is above Earth, that is how high His ways are above mine...

Thy will be done, oh God, on Earth, as it is in Heaven... Holy, Holy, Holy is the Lord, God Almighty! I put my trust in You, my Jesus, Almighty Healer, All-knowing Savior, All-powerful God! Give us all peace... comfort... understanding. I pray for Dee. I pray for Jaron. I pray for Pastor and Malima and Elijah. Let us listen in, that all might be revealed to us.

Good night Love. Thank you for being God. Help me to embrace that more... and show me how to walk in Your ways and Your will.