Day 11: Knocking

A friend once described God's desire to win His children over is like a knocking on our hearts. I'm a take this concept and run with it! Maybe fly...

So this is how I see it. We are living our lives, often knowing He is out there, knowing our hearts are struggling and fighting, but paying Him very little attention. The sounds of our own desires and the battle to overcome everything the world throws at us with our own fists, drowns out the sound of God knocking. Then someone comes and takes a bit of the load and scares off some of our attackers... this sudden assistance gives us the opportunity to hear the knock more loudly. "Who is it?"

"JESUS."

Hahahaha. Then we flat out ignore it! But for me, I eventually realized, I had a big mess of a heart and there was NO WAY I was gonna be able to clean it up and get all the repairs and renovations done that I wanted without some seriously professional help! And He had been out there for years... never tired of knocking. So I opened the door and He came whippin' in there, doing all this amazing work, cleaning things up, taking out the garbage, installing new windows... and it was all FREE! Really can't beat that deal. I let Him move in. He wanted to and I could use the help, so it was allllll good.

The challenge came when He wanted to start moving out the stuff I liked! Suddenly He was a threat. That ugly old chair might be ugly and broken to you Mr. Jesus, but its comfy and I like it there! But He would persist. And every conversation we had would end up there again and again and again.... and I was getting to where I had a feeling my home kind of depended on this new guy. So I gave in. It was hard to watch it go. Its absence left an ache. And I could no longer use it as a place to lay down and forget about life. I mourned it and moped about it for a while, but I started to forget about it. Then He wanted to take out more things. And more and more. And it was getting harder to deal. But one day He brought me a new chair. Most beautiful chair you've ever seen. The colors themselves would bring anyone joy. And it was far more comfortable than my old gray one. In fact, when sat on it I realized I had NEVER really known comfort. When I laid back in it, I realized I had NEVER really known rest. The house was looking better!

I remember the first time I asked Jesus to just move it all out. I was sick of it! "Just move all my junk out and remodel my house with all of your things. Take down all the pictures and put up the ones you want to see on the walls. Put up pictures of You and us. You pick out the rugs, You pick out the furniture. Make it Yours!" Then the struggle was examining everything He wanted to bring in. Long drawn out conversations about why He wanted that lamp or that kitchen table. I am such a pain to live with! But I'm at a place now where I typically just admire the things He brings in and ask Him to tell me all about it! Sometimes we find an old closet we have to go through and empty and clean up. And its a big house so we are constantly cleaning, but its become a place of rest and peace and joy.

Things are going good. We have a system. But something totally new happened today. Something unexpected. I heard a knock. And it wasn't outside. It was from somewhere within. Jesus is inside my heart, behind a door I've never opened and paid little attention to, and He is knocking...