So many times a day I get into an unfixable, untalkable, unmaneuverable moment. There are no perfect words... in fact, there is no perfect silence. There are no semi-good words or silences! I am stuck. I am at a loss. Some people seem never to enter these moments... or they seem to always know exactly what to do when they come... so I think they are either as wise as Solomon, or the best actors I have ever know. I am not one of these people. I seem always in the midst of some unexpected perplexing predicament.
Some days I know such unbelievable hope, that I feel as though these things will never bother me again! But... some times, like tonight, the only thing that I wonder is, how could I have done today better? It's not a question sprung from anger... not even frustration or despair... I just long to know how and when some of these... more perplexing predicaments of life will be easier, let a lone avoidable or possible to approach at all.
Show me, God. If I am standing in my own way, which I know I am in more ways that I can see or fathom right now, and keeping myself from growth, search my heart oh, God... and show me Your ways. Show me what I need to see and understand, to overcome the confusion and the loss of the "unfixable" moments.
To change you really have to want to change... and it is a bigger prayer than people think it is... but I, again, with DEEPER sincerity and understanding of what I am asking, and with a more completely willing heart, pray, God, that You show me what You want from me... what do You want me to see? learn? give up? practice? do? change? whatever?! ALL of me, is Yours to do with whatever You want, Jesus! show me...
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment