Day 9: Unexpected Blessing

A good friend and a good person did something so wonderful tonight, that I found it hard to put myself back together afterward. Rhonda is a woman we go to church with. (I'm using we because the blessing extended further than myself. It was also for Heather, Morgan and Di) She is an incredible woman of faith with an unbelievably big agenda to go with her even bigger heart. We see her from time to time and always share a hug even if we have time for little else. Occasionally we will get the opportunity to talk and she is always encouraging and filling. She is just one of those wonderful people that makes my day brighter. God typically gives us those people in our lives where we are... sometimes many, sometimes one. But tonight we were prepping for the annual Lenten Fish Frys that happen every Friday at St. Rose during Lent, and Rhonda was working with us. So we got to sit and talk and laugh and share for a nice long time. It was wonderful! We worked until it was time to get dinner, and Rhonda, out of nowhere said, "can I buy you girls dinner tonight?"

"What?" We all responded in stereo. She repeated and we did what we were all taught to do which was say, "oh no no no." But then God just said to my heart, "Ashley, I am blessing you, take the offer."

"If you really want to, that would be unbelievably sweet," I told her. What she didn't know was that I really meant "unbelievably". She got up and motioned me to come with her to her car, so I followed. "Want anything from Yun Long's?" I asked. "Oh, no no, my husband's bringing me something here." The gift was not contingent on us "sharing" it with her. She just wanted to get us a meal. She wanted to feed us. I shook my head all the way to the car. "Really?"

"Yes! Really! How much will you need? 20? 25?"

"Oh, oh, 20 is more than enough!"

"I better give you 25. Just in case."

I racked my brain for words of gratitude. Nothing came. I was stunned. I just smiled and stared at her. Like a goof. Then I sort of spazzed and hugged her. Then I said thanks again a couple times. Then I hugged her again. She laughed. I'm sure she thought I was a little crazy. I was just so stunned that she was giving us the money to go out and eat but not because she invited us to a meal or because we all went out and she felt like she should pay. Plus, there had been no warning! No previous mention of wanting to give us anything. She really just had a heart to feed us and bless us. And I had this feeling like it was God's idea and that she was just excited to go with it. So as we walked back I threw my arm around her and I said, "we will have to take you out to eat sometime and return the blessing."

She totally stopped. Not abrubtly or awkwardly, but sort of in slow motion, as if she wanted to say something without the sound of movement. The effect worked because it rang through me... she said, "you guys do enough! Every time I see you, you have a smile on! And the hugs! Even when I'm having a bad day, you just give me joy."

WHAT?! Me? She was talking about all of us, but I admit, I was thinking about me. Stunned... again. I squeezed her and said, "ditto." Which was TOTALLY sincere.

I left and got about half way to my car before I started crying. What was it about the whole incident that touched me so deeply? Honestly, that trainwrecked me! I cried and pondered it all the way to the restaurant. Composed myself, bought our meal, paid for it and cried and pondered it all the way back.

First I thought, because it was such a beautiful gesture with no stipulations. Givers of such gifts are rare. Then I thought, I didn't feel like I deserved it at first. When she first offered it, it took GOD'S VOICE to tell me to take it. I felt awkward for a second. I was even a little frustrated that I didn't express to her how much it impacted me. I mean, I thanked her, but I couldn't find the words to tell her all that it meant to me. "Thanks and ditto" just didn't feel adequate. But there was one thought that brought fresh tears to my eyes everytime it crossed my heart... the blessing was in return for joy... NOT for deeds y'all! NOT for talents. NOT because we were in dire need of money or food. The blessing came out of joy. Joy that we had been given the grace and strength to choose. Fruit for fruit. I'm not saying I think God pays us for being joyful. He paid for us enough already! Thats not how it works, haha... but He showed us His love for us in a way that is from a pleased Father to His adored daughters. I know there are much greater gifts than money or riches or food, but that $25 dollars was one of the most significant of my life. Ever. A TRUE gift and blessing. It was a wonderful show of love!

So I sit tonight, AGAIN, in grateful awe and wonder. Greatful for the beautiful people God has placed in my life, and grateful for a Papa that loves me so much I can't even FATHOM it! And I am filled with JOY!